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Raise your hand if you can sing the "international" version of Do You Hear the People Sing, performed by every country's own Jean Valjean. You must, like me, have been raised on the 10th anniversary concert cd. Nothing else will do.

hush

Grey and white polka dot sweaters are very soothing

interweb master

Know what's fun? When the old man hands me things like this to look up online:

with no explanation of what it is. (Turned out to be attic fans)

Dear Corolla,

Happy 12th anniversary.

We've had good times this year. The plastic around the inside of your windows has nearly all come off. You have some weather stripping peeling away from your side. Remember when your door handle broke? And then, a month later when another door handle broke? It was really fun last week when your muffler fell off on the interstate during Friday evening beach traffic. I've learned to enjoy the silence now that your cd player doesn't work and the radio goes in and out. And you always get me with that whole "I think I'll turn the check engine light on for a week or so and see how she reacts" thing.

154,000 miles and still going strong(ish).

"umm......"

"I.....I.....I......just wanted to play with it a little!"

-Gracie

and then I found five dollars

When I went to Wegman's this week there were no little carts available, only the huge ones. I thought I would have a stroke. I was extremely upset all through the produce section, then I spied an abandoned little cart in the corner. I totally transferred all of my things into it while furtively glancing around in case its owner appeared.

The End

pioneer woman (fail)

5:00 pm - leave for Pioneer Woman's book signing

6:00 pm - circle completely full parking lot like vultures, curse openly at other drivers

6:15 pm - wait to get in line (they have a crazy 'color' ticket system going on)

6:45 - get in line

7:00 - listen to inane conversation of women behind us

7:30 - still in line, have moved ahead maybe 20 steps

7:45 - Ashley goes next door to buy flip flops

7:50 - Ree walks by on her way to a bathroom break; hope that seeing the long line will make her sign faster and not have conversations with every single person

8:00 - still in line, feeling weak from hunger, overhear someone saying the borders cafe is out of food

8:30 - still in line

9:20 - have moved up maybe three steps in the past 45 minutes - decide to bail

What this picture doesn't show is the line of about 150 people snaking through the bookshelves on the right.

9:30 - dinner at Chipotle; throw dagger eyes at smug people coming in with their books signed.

English Class

Dear Sapphire, author of Precious Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire,

Have you ever heard of a small thing called character development? I know it takes time, but it generally helps to build a stronger story. While watching the movie I wondered if Oprah could somehow be involved in making this 'book' into a film....oh yes, there's her name right in the credits. Did you learn nothing from Beloved?

Has anyone read Push? Is it any better than the movie? Weak screenplay aside, I must say that Monique's performance was fantastic.

babies! inspired by - babies!

Which baby is cuter? Impossible to say! Both babies have songs of adoration sung to them by their aunts. Gracie's song variations are more complex because we've had two years to work on them:

"She's a princess puppy pal girl friend, Gracie is my puppy pal, cutest puppy friend in the world, yes, she's a princess puppy pal, I love her, she is my friend, princesspuppypal, princesspuppy paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal" etc.

Aunt Lori put an interesting spin on Lucy's song of adoration (she can correct me if I missed anything):

"Lucy is the cutest girl, baby princess, rainbows, sunshine, UNICORN!"

sweetbread - not exactly bread

Lori took me to dinner at Restaurant Eve in Old Town Alexandria this weekend. It was so delicious and wonderful because I was able to eat meat in good conscience. (I haven't eaten meat since September - aside from one enjoyable incident involving Eggs Benedict). It's not meat-eating in itself I have a problem with, but factory farms, which supply over 90% of the meat found in groceries and restaurants. A system created and driven by consumer demand for cheap meat). Restaurant Eve gets all of its meat from Polyface Farm, a local meat supplier that humanely raises and slaughters its animals.

I had a steak and it was dang good. Lori had the veal sweetbreads which I tried, and they were dang good as well. I almost wished I had ordered them instead. It was not until later that she investigated sweetbreads and discovered what they are. What's surprising is that even knowing this, I would eat them again. I think if you're going to kill something you should not be averse to using all of its parts. And they really were delicious.

nonexistant speed

Someone left behind a watch/stopwatch after a recent wedding and never claimed it so I took it to time my runs. I used it once and will never use it again because dear god I knew I was slow but crap! It was very discouraging. I tell myself as long as I cover the distance the time doesn't matter to me. But it does. So I'm not allowed to use the stopwatch anymore.

Today while running I saw a man peeing on the golf course. Right next to the main road. On the edge of someone's back yard. At least make an attempt to go a little ways into the woods, come on. **I should add that this peeing man was part of a golfing foursome, not just some random weirdo, which I would not have thought twice about. Money obviously can't buy class**

Here's a completely unrelated story. I recently bought some shoes at Target and the cashier said, "oh yeah, I gotta get me some comfortable shoes because I'm on my feet all day, maybe I'll get some crocs [I was NOT buying crocs!]. I also need to go get my feet done" (me: oh yeah, for summer) "Yeah, and my boyfriend's got a thing for feet, they can't be all crusty, you know what I mean?" TMI Target lady, T.M.I.

Remedy for Aging

Kindle is mine! Mwahaha!

Aging

Last year I was informed that I had reached the age at which brain cells begin dying. This year I have taken to wearing a pedometer and practicing rejuvenating yoga for my crunchy back (in addition to lying on tennis balls to get the knots out).

But on the bright side, I do not have ovarian cancer, as I originally suspected after googling my symptoms earlier this year.

dam

I made risotto for dinner and all I could think of was gordon ramsay yelling, "you've ruined the risotto!"

I wonder how my risotto would fare against his in the f-word kitchen.

Water - boil
Box - open
Packets - tear
Pour
Simmer
Stir
Archer farm's four cheese risotto - done

To those who've only seen hell's kitchen or kitchen nightmares - you should really see the f-word. He has the cutest little family and is very nice when not dealing with incompetence.

I miss her already

fun and fitness

I would like to invite you to participate in the First Annual Craddock Exclusive Half Marathon. It is called "exclusive" because my sister and I will probably be the only participants. The course is TBD. The location will be somewhere in the general vicinity of my home. Leave a comment if you would like to participate - virtual participants are welcome! The date will be a Saturday in September that is convenient for everyone (preferably before the Virginia Wine Festival so that my fun is not hindered by being "in training").

If you finish the race you might get a kitschy certificate if I feel like making them. We will high five each other and go out for chinese/pizza/other after the race. There will be no aid stations, so you will need to carry your own water and a cell phone in case of injury (my dad will come pick you up in his van).

See you at the starting line!

I want that

I want that real BAD.

Oh, and also:
My brother has a kid. She has already posted nude photos of herself on the internet. Kids these days...

And:
I'm going to see this in a couple months. Purchasing the tickets immediately brought me out of my post-holiday depression. Maybe I'll plan a beach trip while I'm at it. Cause that fixes feelings - buying things.

the post that could have been

A few days ago I thought of a clever mini-post, complete with some type of cultural reference in the title and now I can't remember any of it.

But last night I dreamed an old man was among those fleeing an advancing army and he impressed everyone with his survival skills because he had already been through it all with the russians and he had a fabric map of europe stuffed in his red long johns and then he dug an ice cave to hide in but the army found him so they sent men one by one into the opening of the ice cave to pull him out but he shot each one with his shotgun then they sent a lady in a gibson girl outfit and hairdo because surely he wouldn't shoot a woman but he shot her right in the top of her head.

Weird that I can remember that and not what I had planned to write in a blog post.