a week in the life: day 1

Being single and childless is pretty awesome (no really, not being sarcastic).  Here's what I do in a day:

6:00 - Wake up slowly, walk dog, get ready for work, listen to podcast about snake handling (religious and regular)

7:00 - Hot breakfast, read book about body image and the catholic church, feel annoyed at neighbor outside window with puppy saying "go potty" over and over and over and over and over and over

8:00-4:30 - "work"

5:00 - Walk dog, put chicken in crock pot for dinner, change for gym, call plumber to make appointment for estimate on hot water heater, go to management office re messed up gate key fob, debate doing 30 minute fitness blender workout prior to Orange Theory, admit to self have major problems with moderation and all or nothing thinking

7:00 - Meet friend at Orange Theory; mess up on rower intervals, causing friend to mess up, regret "My Boo" played while on treadmill round instead of weight round, as would have shown off running man challenge skills but getting off treadmill too complicated.

8:00 - Head home and remember need banjo strings, make detour to music store, listen to same Civil Wars song approximately 15 times in a row

8:30 - Have "mindful" dinner as part of therapy homework, get caught up in book

10:00 - Still sitting at table reading book and crying (Tell the Wolves I'm Home)

10:30 - Still reading and crying

10:45 - Go to bed, try not to berate self for not getting enough sleep (one thing at a time, self!)

True Confessions

I do not listen to my work voicemails.  When the number of unplayed messages reaches 25 I just delete them all.  I used to feel guilty about this but now I don't.  I also play along when someone calls and mentions a message they left me previously.  Someday this might catch up with me, but on that day I'll just quit or something.  

Happy Valentine's Day!

Once I took my dog to a new place for a haircut and didn't realize they needed the actual rabies vaccination paper, not just her tag.  The lady said, "Is there someone at home who could bring it over?"

No.  There's no one at home.  No one can bring it over.  I have to do EVERYTHING MYSELF ALL THE TIME and it really sucks a lot.

Most of the time it's ok though.

Also, mom emails, amiright?

Dad emails, amiright?

The temp's doppelganger

What am I, a millionaire?

Every time I think about having a baby I try to remind myself of how expensive my dog is.  Plus CPS won't get involved when I put off her teeth cleaning for a year.  Maybe I'll just have them all pulled.

get out

I found this draft post dated 12/29/09 that probably explains why I deleted my entire blog history from 2006-2009.  Depression makes you do things you later regret.  Because there were so many stories about that weird neighbor kid Kenny that I would now like to read.    

2009. I moved three times. I regained ten pounds. Most of my belongings reside in storage. A general malaise still lingers. Most days I prefer not to interact with anyone. I miss my latte bowls.

A Health and Longevity Enthusiast

Hello, Friends.  This last year has pretty much sucked, but things look like they could be turning around finally (fingers crossed).  I was hired on a probationary basis at a place that is pretty similar to what I had in mind when I embarked on this career-change path 18 months ago.  My timeline was shortened involuntarily when I was laid off two days after my 30th birthday (I had wondered why there was no cake this year).  I'm actually still pretty bitter about that whole debacle.

In order to feel like I had some sort of control over any aspect of my life, I signed up to run the Woodrow Wilson Bridge Half Marathon in October.  I am proud of myself for sticking with the training program, but I'm looking forward to cutting out the weekly long runs (currently 10 miles) which take for.ev.er. because of my 15-17 minute mile average.  I want to keep up with the running, though, so I'm planning on doing smaller races about once a month until I don't want to anymore.  One of them is the Wicked 10k in Virginia Beach, for which I'm planning the most amazing costume:

It will be spectacular.

I've been reading "Eat to Live" by Dr. Furhman.  It makes a lot of sense.  I was going to start his six week program today, but I just ate a muffin, so....

I started going to a new (to me) yoga studio, and I think my goal for the year will be this pose:

I can get halfway there if I use a chair.  I think it will be an impressive party trick.  Now I just need to make some friends and get invited to a party.  One thing at a time...

Which is worse? Rejection en masse from potential employers or potential internet suitors?

Each has its own special kind of demoralizing sting.

Job searching sucks. I hate that even though I uploaded a resume, as requested, I still have to fill out my entire work history in 500 individual form fields. Why? The sight of "send resume and cover letter to hr@bigcompany.com" can REALLY make my day.

Know what else sucks? Not really being fired, but only halfway fired. It's awkward for everyone. Xanax helps.

Also sucky - moving and sharing common spaces again. But at least the average time it would take to discover my body should I die in my sleep will decrease. (It is currently 2 days, 3 if I die on a Friday).

Not sucky - my mile time is under 15 minutes (Fine. It is 14:30 minutes but that is STILL UNDER 15 did you not see the above paragraph where I contemplated how long it would take for someone to discover my dead body I am grasping at STRAWS here people)

Meh, life. Que sera, sera and all that crap.

Grammar Friday

regardless adj. 1. having or showing no regard; heedless (often followed by of): regardless of the advice of his elders. 2. without regard to expense, danger, etc. --adv. 3. without concern as to advice, warning, hardship, etc.; anyway: I must make the decision regardless. 4. in spite of; without regard for: We fought regardless of our injuries.

irregardless not a real word

Grammar Friday

I've found lately that I'm in need of a place to vent about incorrect grammar. I thought posting here would be better than becoming "that person" in the comment sections of other websites and blogs. (I do possess some semblance of manners, so I'm well aware that it's rude to correct others). And so, here is the first installment of Grammar Friday.

The plural of mother-in-law (or any other "in-law") is motherS-in-law, not mother-in-laws. In the plural, there is more than one person, not more than one law.

24601

Raise your hand if you can sing the "international" version of Do You Hear the People Sing, performed by every country's own Jean Valjean. You must, like me, have been raised on the 10th anniversary concert cd. Nothing else will do.

hush

Grey and white polka dot sweaters are very soothing

interweb master

Know what's fun? When the old man hands me things like this to look up online:

with no explanation of what it is. (Turned out to be attic fans)

Dear Corolla,

Happy 12th anniversary.

We've had good times this year. The plastic around the inside of your windows has nearly all come off. You have some weather stripping peeling away from your side. Remember when your door handle broke? And then, a month later when another door handle broke? It was really fun last week when your muffler fell off on the interstate during Friday evening beach traffic. I've learned to enjoy the silence now that your cd player doesn't work and the radio goes in and out. And you always get me with that whole "I think I'll turn the check engine light on for a week or so and see how she reacts" thing.

154,000 miles and still going strong(ish).

"umm......"

"I.....I.....I......just wanted to play with it a little!"

-Gracie

and then I found five dollars

When I went to Wegman's this week there were no little carts available, only the huge ones. I thought I would have a stroke. I was extremely upset all through the produce section, then I spied an abandoned little cart in the corner. I totally transferred all of my things into it while furtively glancing around in case its owner appeared.

The End

pioneer woman (fail)

5:00 pm - leave for Pioneer Woman's book signing

6:00 pm - circle completely full parking lot like vultures, curse openly at other drivers

6:15 pm - wait to get in line (they have a crazy 'color' ticket system going on)

6:45 - get in line

7:00 - listen to inane conversation of women behind us

7:30 - still in line, have moved ahead maybe 20 steps

7:45 - Ashley goes next door to buy flip flops

7:50 - Ree walks by on her way to a bathroom break; hope that seeing the long line will make her sign faster and not have conversations with every single person

8:00 - still in line, feeling weak from hunger, overhear someone saying the borders cafe is out of food

8:30 - still in line

9:20 - have moved up maybe three steps in the past 45 minutes - decide to bail

What this picture doesn't show is the line of about 150 people snaking through the bookshelves on the right.

9:30 - dinner at Chipotle; throw dagger eyes at smug people coming in with their books signed.

English Class

Dear Sapphire, author of Precious Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire,

Have you ever heard of a small thing called character development? I know it takes time, but it generally helps to build a stronger story. While watching the movie I wondered if Oprah could somehow be involved in making this 'book' into a film....oh yes, there's her name right in the credits. Did you learn nothing from Beloved?

Has anyone read Push? Is it any better than the movie? Weak screenplay aside, I must say that Monique's performance was fantastic.