Martha Remix

Which is worse? Rejection en masse from potential employers or potential internet suitors?

2011-10-11T20:26:00.003-04:00

Each has its own special kind of demoralizing sting.

Job searching sucks. I hate that even though I uploaded a resume, as requested, I still have to fill out my entire work history in 500 individual form fields. Why? The sight of "send resume and cover letter to hr@bigcompany.com" can REALLY make my day.

Know what else sucks? Not really being fired, but only halfway fired. It's awkward for everyone. Xanax helps.

Also sucky - moving and sharing common spaces again. But at least the average time it would take to discover my body should I die in my sleep will decrease. (It is currently 2 days, 3 if I die on a Friday).

Not sucky - my mile time is under 15 minutes (Fine. It is 14:30 minutes but that is STILL UNDER 15 did you not see the above paragraph where I contemplated how long it would take for someone to discover my dead body I am grasping at STRAWS here people)

Meh, life. Que sera, sera and all that crap.

Grammar Friday

2011-06-10T08:00:00.002-04:00

regardless adj. 1. having or showing no regard; heedless (often followed by of): regardless of the advice of his elders. 2. without regard to expense, danger, etc. --adv. 3. without concern as to advice, warning, hardship, etc.; anyway: I must make the decision regardless. 4. in spite of; without regard for: We fought regardless of our injuries.

irregardless not a real word

Grammar Friday

2011-06-03T09:21:00.002-04:00

I've found lately that I'm in need of a place to vent about incorrect grammar. I thought posting here would be better than becoming "that person" in the comment sections of other websites and blogs. (I do possess some semblance of manners, so I'm well aware that it's rude to correct others). And so, here is the first installment of Grammar Friday.

The plural of mother-in-law (or any other "in-law") is motherS-in-law, not mother-in-laws. In the plural, there is more than one person, not more than one law.

24601

2010-10-02T18:11:00.003-04:00

Raise your hand if you can sing the "international" version of Do You Hear the People Sing, performed by every country's own Jean Valjean. You must, like me, have been raised on the 10th anniversary concert cd. Nothing else will do.

hush

2010-08-18T16:07:00.001-04:00

Grey and white polka dot sweaters are very soothing

interweb master

2010-08-18T12:50:00.005-04:00

Know what's fun? When the old man hands me things like this to look up online:

with no explanation of what it is. (Turned out to be attic fans)

Dear Corolla,

2010-08-13T15:47:00.003-04:00

Happy 12th anniversary.

We've had good times this year. The plastic around the inside of your windows has nearly all come off. You have some weather stripping peeling away from your side. Remember when your door handle broke? And then, a month later when another door handle broke? It was really fun last week when your muffler fell off on the interstate during Friday evening beach traffic. I've learned to enjoy the silence now that your cd player doesn't work and the radio goes in and out. And you always get me with that whole "I think I'll turn the check engine light on for a week or so and see how she reacts" thing.

154,000 miles and still going strong(ish).

"umm......"

2010-06-21T19:00:00.001-04:00

"I.....I.....I......just wanted to play with it a little!"

-Gracie

and then I found five dollars

2010-05-26T10:57:00.002-04:00

When I went to Wegman's this week there were no little carts available, only the huge ones. I thought I would have a stroke. I was extremely upset all through the produce section, then I spied an abandoned little cart in the corner. I totally transferred all of my things into it while furtively glancing around in case its owner appeared.

The End

pioneer woman (fail)

2010-05-05T09:38:00.007-04:00

5:00 pm - leave for Pioneer Woman's book signing

6:00 pm - circle completely full parking lot like vultures, curse openly at other drivers

6:15 pm - wait to get in line (they have a crazy 'color' ticket system going on)

6:45 - get in line

7:00 - listen to inane conversation of women behind us

7:30 - still in line, have moved ahead maybe 20 steps

7:45 - Ashley goes next door to buy flip flops

7:50 - Ree walks by on her way to a bathroom break; hope that seeing the long line will make her sign faster and not have conversations with every single person

8:00 - still in line, feeling weak from hunger, overhear someone saying the borders cafe is out of food

8:30 - still in line

9:20 - have moved up maybe three steps in the past 45 minutes - decide to bail

What this picture doesn't show is the line of about 150 people snaking through the bookshelves on the right.

9:30 - dinner at Chipotle; throw dagger eyes at smug people coming in with their books signed.

English Class

2010-04-30T22:34:00.002-04:00

Dear Sapphire, author of Precious Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire,

Have you ever heard of a small thing called character development? I know it takes time, but it generally helps to build a stronger story. While watching the movie I wondered if Oprah could somehow be involved in making this 'book' into a film....oh yes, there's her name right in the credits. Did you learn nothing from Beloved?

Has anyone read Push? Is it any better than the movie? Weak screenplay aside, I must say that Monique's performance was fantastic.

babies! inspired by - babies!

2010-04-08T14:50:00.004-04:00

Which baby is cuter? Impossible to say! Both babies have songs of adoration sung to them by their aunts. Gracie's song variations are more complex because we've had two years to work on them:

"She's a princess puppy pal girl friend, Gracie is my puppy pal, cutest puppy friend in the world, yes, she's a princess puppy pal, I love her, she is my friend, princesspuppypal, princesspuppy paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal" etc.

Aunt Lori put an interesting spin on Lucy's song of adoration (she can correct me if I missed anything):

"Lucy is the cutest girl, baby princess, rainbows, sunshine, UNICORN!"

sweetbread - not exactly bread

2010-03-29T09:59:00.002-04:00

Lori took me to dinner at Restaurant Eve in Old Town Alexandria this weekend. It was so delicious and wonderful because I was able to eat meat in good conscience. (I haven't eaten meat since September - aside from one enjoyable incident involving Eggs Benedict). It's not meat-eating in itself I have a problem with, but factory farms, which supply over 90% of the meat found in groceries and restaurants. A system created and driven by consumer demand for cheap meat). Restaurant Eve gets all of its meat from Polyface Farm, a local meat supplier that humanely raises and slaughters its animals.

I had a steak and it was dang good. Lori had the veal sweetbreads which I tried, and they were dang good as well. I almost wished I had ordered them instead. It was not until later that she investigated sweetbreads and discovered what they are. What's surprising is that even knowing this, I would eat them again. I think if you're going to kill something you should not be averse to using all of its parts. And they really were delicious.

nonexistant speed

2010-03-24T20:22:00.003-04:00

Someone left behind a watch/stopwatch after a recent wedding and never claimed it so I took it to time my runs. I used it once and will never use it again because dear god I knew I was slow but crap! It was very discouraging. I tell myself as long as I cover the distance the time doesn't matter to me. But it does. So I'm not allowed to use the stopwatch anymore.

Today while running I saw a man peeing on the golf course. Right next to the main road. On the edge of someone's back yard. At least make an attempt to go a little ways into the woods, come on. **I should add that this peeing man was part of a golfing foursome, not just some random weirdo, which I would not have thought twice about. Money obviously can't buy class**

Here's a completely unrelated story. I recently bought some shoes at Target and the cashier said, "oh yeah, I gotta get me some comfortable shoes because I'm on my feet all day, maybe I'll get some crocs [I was NOT buying crocs!]. I also need to go get my feet done" (me: oh yeah, for summer) "Yeah, and my boyfriend's got a thing for feet, they can't be all crusty, you know what I mean?" TMI Target lady, T.M.I.

Remedy for Aging

2010-03-23T10:26:00.001-04:00

Kindle is mine! Mwahaha!

Aging

2010-03-08T09:21:00.002-05:00

Last year I was informed that I had reached the age at which brain cells begin dying. This year I have taken to wearing a pedometer and practicing rejuvenating yoga for my crunchy back (in addition to lying on tennis balls to get the knots out).

But on the bright side, I do not have ovarian cancer, as I originally suspected after googling my symptoms earlier this year.

dam

2010-02-10T20:41:00.004-05:00

I made risotto for dinner and all I could think of was gordon ramsay yelling, "you've ruined the risotto!"

I wonder how my risotto would fare against his in the f-word kitchen.

Water - boil
Box - open
Packets - tear
Pour
Simmer
Stir
Archer farm's four cheese risotto - done

To those who've only seen hell's kitchen or kitchen nightmares - you should really see the f-word. He has the cutest little family and is very nice when not dealing with incompetence.

I miss her already

2010-02-08T21:11:00.005-05:00

fun and fitness

2010-01-25T21:51:00.003-05:00

I would like to invite you to participate in the First Annual Craddock Exclusive Half Marathon. It is called "exclusive" because my sister and I will probably be the only participants. The course is TBD. The location will be somewhere in the general vicinity of my home. Leave a comment if you would like to participate - virtual participants are welcome! The date will be a Saturday in September that is convenient for everyone (preferably before the Virginia Wine Festival so that my fun is not hindered by being "in training").

If you finish the race you might get a kitschy certificate if I feel like making them. We will high five each other and go out for chinese/pizza/other after the race. There will be no aid stations, so you will need to carry your own water and a cell phone in case of injury (my dad will come pick you up in his van).

See you at the starting line!

I want that

2010-01-16T17:58:00.007-05:00

I want that real BAD.

Oh, and also:
My brother has a kid. She has already posted nude photos of herself on the internet. Kids these days...

And:
I'm going to see this in a couple months. Purchasing the tickets immediately brought me out of my post-holiday depression. Maybe I'll plan a beach trip while I'm at it. Cause that fixes feelings - buying things.

the post that could have been

2010-01-03T23:35:00.002-05:00

A few days ago I thought of a clever mini-post, complete with some type of cultural reference in the title and now I can't remember any of it.

But last night I dreamed an old man was among those fleeing an advancing army and he impressed everyone with his survival skills because he had already been through it all with the russians and he had a fabric map of europe stuffed in his red long johns and then he dug an ice cave to hide in but the army found him so they sent men one by one into the opening of the ice cave to pull him out but he shot each one with his shotgun then they sent a lady in a gibson girl outfit and hairdo because surely he wouldn't shoot a woman but he shot her right in the top of her head.

Weird that I can remember that and not what I had planned to write in a blog post.

warning

2009-12-21T22:04:00.003-05:00

An errant spark from a camera turning on or flash going off could cause the whole place to go up in flames. Thanks for telling me that after I took a photo, Tour Guide Joe from New Jersey.

*pictured above - copper scotch pots at Woodford Reserve

haiku tuesday

2009-12-15T16:56:00.004-05:00

holiday car trip

going to the bluegrass state

cracker barrel please

*feel free to leave your own haiku in the comments section

success

2009-12-12T19:12:00.002-05:00

This morning I ran three miles outside. Outside, people! I've been running on the treadmill for a little over a year and recently I switched to running outside. It's been hard. It felt like I was starting at the beginning again. So those three miles were the measure of success for me.

I also think I may have trimmed my 15 minute mile to 10 minutes, unless I was so high on victory that I read the clock wrong.

greed

2009-12-10T12:08:00.004-05:00

I already own this:

It's black. It's the bowl-lift model. I love it.

And yet I obsessively enter contests to win this:

It's red. It's the tilt-head model. And it has a glass bowl. I don't know why I want it. I am greedy.

identity

2009-12-09T13:06:00.003-05:00

am I still the person I was in 1998

or do birds trump autumn

or perhaps things colonial trump all

haiku tuesday

2009-12-08T14:23:00.006-05:00

running with my pal

christmas lights are shining bright

she wants to go home